This Website Will Help You Find A Perfectly Timed Bathroom Read

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Today in websites you don’t genuinely require, but what the heck:, a website that allows users to find the perfect reading material for their journey to the bathroom.

Whether you think you’ll need to be entertained( because defecating is sooo boring) for a short spell or are in it for the long haul, Poopfiction provides a range of reading days from one to two minutes to four minutes and up.( If your trip-up to the toilet is even shorter than that, forget the website and simply whispering, “For sale: baby shoes, never worn” while you’re in the stall. You’ve only recited an alleged Ernest Hemingway narrative !)

Most of the site’s recommendations seem to be Aesop’s allegories and James Baldwin tales, likely because it pullings from Project Gutenberg, a database of public-domain literary work. So if you were looking for cutting-edge flashing fiction, this isn’t the place for it.


Also, it’s hard to seriously want to use Poopfiction after reading all the studies that show just how much residual fecal matter colds on our cell phone. Surely, this was able to build the problem worse — and increase your chances of the dreaded phone-in-toilet scenario immeasurably.

Then again, science has shown that supposedly everything in our existence is essentially contained within poop — now there’s a metaphor! — so this could just be a sign of the times.

Poopfiction is fun for a giggle, but perhaps its better to stick to ol’ paper for your bathroom reading material. Or, you know, only stare at the wall until you’re done.

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