As if my ovaries aren’t confounded enough of the damn time, the sexy Santa phenomenon is messing with my sexual cues.
Two weeks ago, Toronto-based Fashion Santa helped us all come to terms with the fact that Santa is a( Canadian) human with requires .
Now, <a href="http://www.buzzfeed.com/ryanhatesthis/there-is-a-second-outrageously-sexy-santa-claus?
bffbtrending& utm_term =. gdDpo2 0QG #. jxzwajqWE” target= “_blank”> a second sensual St. Nick
emerged fromMexico, a country also known for bordering the United States and exporting , among other things, altogether f* ckable beings of legend.
Mr. Claus is a model for El Palacio de Hierro, a major Mexican department store, BuzzFeed reports.
His eyes are as piercing as the cold he rarely experiences.
His beard is a thick, lush garden of vacation dreams.
On Facebook, he claims “the beard separates “the mens” from the sons, ” thoughI imagine it smells of peppermint and sleigh varnish.
He has a ton of Oxford shoes, which is classy as sh* t.
Mr. Claus is one chic seor, essentially. He’ll eat your milk and cookies to be polite, but then he’ll wear all black to hide his snack belly.
JUST KIDDING. THERE IS NO SNACK BELLY. HE IS A PERFECT SPECIMEN.
People are understandably losing every last ounce of cold and tweeting #QueridoMrClaus.
https :// twitter.com/ BisChokito6 9/ status/ 6761876384 4595712 0
Could you introduce me to Claus Jr?
#QueridoMrClaus, Netflix and chill?
— Max Rockatansky (@ DevotchkaMarina) December 11, 2015
https :// twitter.com/ Pau_Princesilla/ status/ 6743850223 5111424 0
This year I was a bad girl.
— Chio Rivera (@ ChioRivera) December 5, 2015
I would like to leave my letter to Santa personally.
https :// twitter.com/ CristinaLule/ status/ 6748199594 6206003 2
Enjoy these sexy Santas while you can, folks. Something tells me Hot Baby New Year is going to be a real bummer.