If you look inside the average guy’s wardrobe, you’ll most likely watch a number of button-downs, a few pairs of slacks, some polos and one pair of jeans. But peek inside the average girl’s closet, and it looks like Forever 21 slept with Anthropologie and birthed a bastard child of outfits, rompers and sun hats.
Simply put, dames have versatile wardrobes filled with different outfits and styles that build little to no sense to dudes. Just how little, you ask?
I asked a group of bros what they was just thinking about certain fashion tendencies. Names were changed at petition, and they got to pick their pseudonyms. Let’s see how seriously this went.
As the first question in the series, I was hoping to hit the ground running with matching separates. Things didn’t get off to a large start with this one.
Is that when they slap together low-budget clothes from Goodwill?- Piccadilly Fortsworth, 27
That sounds like a mistake.- Jon Dowd, 27
OK, after a quick Google search, some examples were provided and things became a little clearer for them — sort of.
Oh, so basically garmenting like Taylor Swift?- Jebediah Moonshine, 28
If she looks like T Swift, then yes.- Jethro Hellcat, 27
Again, this wasn’t the strongest start. Given how often T Swift’s name was fallen, I worried this would become a common theme throughout the interviews. Sometimes, hunch is spot on
From limited gossip news clippings and brief glimpses of blogs, guys have learned dames borrow inspiration from celebs like Beyonc and Rihanna. Thankfully, few try to imitate “Poker Face”-era Lady Gaga’s meat dress.
Crop tops have cropped up( pun intended) to be a popular summer option for girls. And what do these dudes suppose?
A girl in a crop top likely overplayed’ Bad Blood’ at home parties.- Jethro
Crop tops are definitely risky. It can be pulled off, but boy it can be a huge mistake.- Jon
No fashion choice is without its risks: dudes with hairy shoulders in tank tops, for example. But, it seems like bros cast some decent shade onto crop tops. Tread softly.
Ah, yes. The remote cousin of the just-below-the-knee Han Solo boots, this footwear brings many images to mind. Principally, the girl who always wanted a horse but never truly wanted the responsibility of being an equestrian.
Sometimes, it looks like they’re cosplaying a modern Joan of Arc — or Link.- Piccadilly
Honestly, I don’t appear that far down. Shoes or boots just aren’t interesting.- Jebediah
Huh, guess that determines the boot debate.
After a lengthy debate, I couldn’t help but suppose these guys were being a little harsh. With a quick follow-up topic regarding what they do like, most of the guys explained clothes didn’t matter to them overall.
If we’re having a good conversation, I’m not interested in her outfit.- Jon.
This sentiment rang true for all. So ladies, next time you worry about what to wear, don’t dedicate bros a second thought. Simply do you and make it run, Tim Gunn style.