When you think of typical Barbie dolls, words like “empowering” and “feminist” might not be the first that come to mind. That’s all about to change, though, because this morning, a brand-new Barbie merely hit the market, and it’s going to induce you stand up and cheer: Mattel has released a kickass entrepreneur Barbie that gets rich selling her placenta to wealthy Chinese tycoons!
Wow! This limited-release, special-edition Barbie is about to inspire a whole generation of women with her resourceful, empowering plan to auction off her afterbirth to the highest bidder!
According to Mattel, this strong, independent Barbie comes with a realistic placenta that she has chosen to sell to a group of mysterious Chinese executives at a corrupt corporation called GlamCorp Asia for cold, hard cash. It’s Mattel’s boldest Barbie yet, and it devotes budding young feminists the chance to see a female role model who is empowered to stimulate her own options when it comes to arranging a meeting with an aging Chinese tycoon who she met on the dark web and selling him her afterbirth.
It’s amazing that Mattel is so committed to teaching young girls that they can be anything they want when they grow up, including a strong, independent woman who auctions off her placenta to a dying Chinese billionaire who thinks that eating it will induce him live for an extra 30 years! Sure, the newest Barbie still has her incredible clothes and shoes, but now young girl get to learn how to earn those clothes and shoes by selling a piece of Barbie to a desperate plutocrat in Beijing hoping to create an elixir of youth.
Yep, it’s safe to say that this is the kind of plaything that feminist mothers will utterly love. In addition to the standard Barbie doll, the play defined comes with two elderly Chinese tycoons competing to outbid each other for Barbie’s precious life-giving afterbirth, a briefcase full of cash, and a Social Security card that Barbie can leave with her younger sister, Skipper, in case anything happens abroad. If you’ve got a young daughter at home, there’s no better way to teach her that she can stick up for herself and be independent utilizing nothing but her own placenta and the Mandarin terms for “Hello, ” “Nice to meet you, ” and “Pay me what I deserve or I will sell my placenta to your fiercest business competitor.”
Smashing stereotypes and promoting feminism is not an easy one, so kudos to Mattel for releasing this incredible doll. Now, thanks to Barbie, girls can learn that they can be whatever they want to be, as long as they’re willing to work hard, drive shrewd bargains in illegal auction houses, and figure out how to smuggle the profits of a black-market organ sale back into the United States. This is a major feminist victory for “girls ” everywhere, and we just can’t stop cheering!
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