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8 Famous Celebrity Looks( That Were Stupid Accidents)

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While most celebrities look and garment like more beautiful versions of the schlubs we see at the supermarket, some have such a iconic style it’s almost like trendy foreigners dressed them. Take Marilyn Monroe’s white dress, the kissers of KISS, or David Bowie’s, well, everything. It must have taken them ages to perfect their seems, right? But some are luckier than others, accidentally stumbling ass-first into what will attain them recognizable for generations to come.

8

Jennifer Aniston’s “Rachel” Haircut Was Conceived While Stoned

If you were a ladyperson in the mid-‘9 0s and you didn’t have the time or resources to wrestle your locks into a Kid ‘n Play hi-top fade, the next most fashionable option was the hairstyle Jennifer Aniston wore in the sitcom Friends . Which is why in most ‘9 0s scenes, it looked like everyone had square-shaped heads.

Warner Bros. Television
Could her highlights be any chunkier ?

But “The Rachel” was not the result of years of trial and error by scientists from the Ministry of Fresh Fads. It was the creation of one stylist, who came up with it while he was stoned out of his gourd. Back when she was a young whippersnapper, wavy-haired Aniston couldn’t operate a blow dryer to save or end their own lives. She relied totally on her friend and follicle manipulator, salon proprietor Chris McMillan. In fact, Aniston trusted him so much that she let him cut her hair while tripping balls. McMillan gladly acknowledges to being high as a kite where reference is concocted her sloppy-looking ‘do, confirming for the record: “I’m 14 years sober, so I feel safe enough to say that.” Some people have to wake up in a puddle of their own filth next to a naked jester to stop doing medications. For McMillan, that line in the sand was realise he had ruined an entire generation of white girls’ hair.

7

Johnny Depp Wears Various Blue-Tinted Glasses Because He’s Blind As Shit

Like any good actor, Johnny Depp has tried evolving over time. Unfortunately, he’s evolved into a thrift store, thanks to his increasingly vast collect of scarves, bangles, hats, gizmoes, gewgaws, and gimcracks. One thing about his looking that hasn’t changed, though, are his blue-tinted glass. But those weren’t an impulse purchase constructed in a drunken stupor off a late-night TV commercial. Depp requires those things, because he’s get worse eye problems than a real one-eyed pirate.

Like Bono, Depp actually has to wear his dumb sunglasses for medical reasons. Some poor squad of opticians has been crafting dozens of blue sunglasses to correct his combination of near- and farsightedness. But merely for his right eye. His left one has been pretty much a lost cause since birth. It’s not completely blind, but it stimulates everything appear basically like a Monet painting after someone put it in a dishwasher. So unless he’s playing a role that requires sunglasses, like in Fear And Loathing In Las Vegas , he’s acting while being aware only of what’s going on a few inches immediately in front of his face.

But that doesn’t explain wanting to see the world like an underwater wonderland?( Actually, we answered our own question there ). There’s no solid verification, but there is a perceptual processing disorder called “Meares-Irlen syndrome, ” for which ophthalmologists prescribe such hipster-friendly shades, which can reduce stress to the eye from overstimulation. And if busy patterns and shocking colouring palettes are the cause of his woes, it builds us wonder why he maintains garmenting like was dragged through a Goodwill at high speed. Then again, the poor guy probably hasn’t been able to look at himself in the mirror for decades.

6

Steve Jobs’ Turtleneck Was Part Of A Failed Apple Uniform

While Apple founder Steve Jobs may have made a number of questionable decisions when it came to his diet, or hygiene, or interpersonal relationships, you can’t say that he wasn’t a snappy dresser. Snappy and singular, as he seemed to wear that black turtleneck/ jeans combo every goddamned day of the year.

mylerdude/ Wiki Commons
Try not to imagine the smell .

But the reason Jobs wore them all time wasn’t a passion for simplicity or that he spent all his free time writing bad verse in the back of a Starbucks. Black turtlenecks were part of his plan to get everyone at Apple to wear the same company uniform.

Sometime in the ‘8 0s, after a visit to Sony headquarters in Japan, Jobs was mightily impressed with how all the employees were wearing the same corporate garb. So when he returned home, he defined a scheme in motion to have all Apple employees dress alike, like some sort of hi-tech Catholic school. First he hired the designer behind the Sony uniforms, Issey Miyake, to create a snazzy vest. But where reference is then showcased his idea of garmenting the smartest people in Silicon Valley like they were working in an off-brand TGI Fridays, it was not a hit. Jobs later remembered: “Oh man, did I get booed off the stage. Everybody detested the idea.” It was the sartorial equivalent of the Apple Lisa.

Matthew Yohe/ Wiki Commons
Someone must have told him that black was the best available color for stalking Bill Gates’ home .

Only mildly deterred, Jobs took matters into his own hands and had Miyake base another uniform on the black turtlenecks he liked wearing. And like with the vests, everyone fucking disliked them. So now he was stuck with boxes and boxes of the things. But ever one to turn lemons into marginally nutritious smoothies, Jobs assured a silver lining in the debacle: “I have enough to last for the rest of my life.” And he did.

5

Flavor Flav Started Wearing A Giant Clock Around His Neck On A Dare

It’s hard to believe now, what with his post-music career of being the dumbest person on reality shows, that at one point in time Flavor Flav( born William Jonathan Drayton Jr .) was a musical prodigy and arguably one of the most influential rappers in history. He was also a manner trendsetter, notably in the field of accessorizing. And his greatest accomplishment in this area was, of course, cosplaying as Big Ben.

You might suppose it was carefully calculated, in the way that backwards jeans and genie gasps were conscious though ill-advised attempts by hip-hop artists to stand out from the pack. Or perhaps the clock was a modern, symbolic homage to the albatross from “The Rime Of The Ancient Mariner.” Yeah, likely not that one. According to Flav, the real reason he wound up running around with an oversized timepiece like he was late for a meeting with the Queen of Hearts was much simpler: He did it on a dare.

Describing the clock’s origin in an interview with The Hollywood Reporter , Flav said, “Someone in my crew put a rain clock around my neck and dared me to keep it on during our reveal. I guessed the looking of the clock around my neck was dope, so I maintained it on.” We should all feel luck no one dared Flav to also wear the shower hose as a feathering boa. Of course, that meant that his early clocks didn’t have any nifty logos or designs or anything like that, but were the kind you might find in the toiletries aisle at Sears circa 1982.

4

Mankind’s Mask Was A Leftover Undertaker Prop

You don’t have to be a wrestling fan to know who Mick Foley is. While he may never have achieved the global recognition of Andre the Giant, Hulk Hogan, or Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson, he certainly find a style for his persona to stick out in a mob of skimpy trunks and oiled pecs.

Foley’s “Mankind” was a decidedly less-than-sensitive portrait of an unstable schizophrenic, sporting a tattered dress shirt and a sock he used as a puppet. But the thing that really made the getup pop, plainly, was the mask, which looks like a cross between homemade bondage headgear and something you’d discovery on a Texas Chainsaw Massacre Etsy store.

It definitely did a convincing task of building Mankind definitely sounds like the various kinds of guy deranged enough to need a muzzle, but its origins are even less flattering than that. Compared to the chiseled features and muscular physique of the average professional wrestler, the kindest style to describe Foley would be “unconventional”( not to mention that he only has one ear ). So, according to sources, when WWE CEO and creepy guy extraordinaire Vince McMahon eventually agreed to put Foley in the ring, his exact words were: “All right, dammit … I’ll bring him in, but I’m covering up his face.”

Foley did not then turn to an S& M-certified leather worker to craft him a strap-on harness for his face, but simply rummaged around in the( what has to be spectacularly odd) repository where the WWE maintains its unused props. Ironically, the leather straps were originally designed for Mankind’s greatest adversary, the Undertaker, but McMahon, again displaying his panache for micromanagement, decided it didn’t quite fit with his patented “Western mortician” motif. Thus the mask was repurposed, and the delicate sensibilities of professional wrestling fans were spared the nightmarish sight of Mick Foley’s gaping eldritch horror of a face.

3

John Lennon’s Glasses Were A Movie Prop He Maintained

After a bumpy start as “the Fat Beatle, ” John Lennon must have been alleviated when he was able to reinvent himself as a smug hippie. And what really defined the whole thing off were those weird round glass — which, in the ‘6 0s, were something you’d only see in movies pinched on the nose of some general storekeeper or a WWII surgeon. Which is exactly where Lennon got the idea.

How I Won The War was a dark antiwar comedy that “re coming out” in 1967, and you can be excused for not watching it, because it sucked. In it, Lennon, who was surely hired for his acting ability and not because he was more famous than Jesus, played “Musketeer Gripweed, ” a “schoolboyish and reticent weakling.” Lennon’s main undertaking was to deliver painfully unfunny one-liners, like replying “No, I play harmonica” to the question of whether he was married.

The glass were a deliberate part of the wardrobe, designed to “emphasize the character’s comicality, vulnerability, innocence and hints of sexual ambivalence” — which is a lot of range to demand from a pair of glasses. But Lennon liked them so much that he decided to keep wearing them, and even incorporated them into his public persona. The army regulation haircut? Not so much. Of course, due to the simple fact that a Beatle wore them on a movie poster, they never went out of style again. Even today, one can readily acquire a similar pair from “vintage” retailers, which don’t mind charging you a fortune for something that was originally intended to make the wearer definitely sounds like a cowardly idiot.

2

Steven Van Zandt Wears Bandanas Because Of A Head Wound

“Little” Steven Van Zandt has done a lot of things in his life, from playing guitar in Bruce Springsteen’s E Street Band, to opposing Apartheid through the power of disturbing music videos, to defining the fight against Italian-American stereotyping back by decades in his role as strip club owned/ murderer Silvio Dante in The Sopranos . But fans of his music recognise him best for his love of always wearing a bandana, like he’s trying out for the Crips. Is he merely committed to gangster style in all facets of his life, or simply suffering from the heartbreak of male pattern baldness? Nope, it’s because his scalp looks like it became too intimate with a lawnmower.

As a kid, Van Zandt got into an accident that watched him flying through the windshield of a vehicle. His injuries weren’t life-threatening, but his hair never grew back in what he considered a socially acceptable way. “I decided that I didn’t want to deal with wigs and things, so I merely stumbled onto my thing.” After experimenting with various unfortunate hats, he settled on a style that’s usually merely kosher in biker bars( for people with Dutch surnames who pretend to be Italian ).


Or very lazy Zorro cosplayers .

But how about his luscious greaser mane in The Sopranos ? That was a wig, which he is forced to wear for acting gigs, as Hollywood is still too bigoted to give roles to people who identify as Zorro. He often jokes that “half of the acting I do is actually done by the hair.” But don’t expect Van Zandt to ever run the John Travolta route and glue a hairpiece to his noggin. He’ll be rolling those bandanas all the way to the nursing home.

1

ABBA Wore Crazy Outfits to Get a Tax Deduction

‘7 0s Swedish deities ABBA were one of the greatest pop bands to have ever boogied into existence. But the latter are definitely one of those bands that are best enjoyed while listening to an album at home. Not because they couldn’t bring it live, but because they brought too much of it . ABBA was notorious for wearing hundreds of ridiculously over-the-top outfits. And the reason for a wardrobe deeper and more colorful than the one leading to Narnia? It saved them money.

From the sequined capes to the velvet overalls and platform shoes with highwater pantsuits, just about every matching ensemble they unveiled define new standards for atrociousness. Seriously, they appeared less like a band and more like what a colorblind madman would design for a superhero team made up altogether of pedophiles.

So were they saving fund by letting one of their dementia-stricken grandmothers sew together these monstrosities? Were they forming a cult to venerate the god of velour? In truth, they knew full well that they looked like morons. And the flamboyantly repugnant outfits served a very practical purpose: It saved them a bundle on taxes.

Early in their career, ABBA was made aware of a weird Swedish statute, whereby they could altogether write off all wardrobe expenses as a tax deduction as long as said outfits were “so outrageous that they couldn’t be worn on the street.” In an official ABBA biography, Bjorn Ulvaeus( the first “B”) revealed how self-aware they were: “In my honest opinion we looked like nuts in those years. Nobody can have been as badly dressed on stage as we were.”

It seems that ABBA missed their calling in tax law, because in 2007, Ulvaeus was again able to fend off the Swedish government, which this time was suing him for millions over tax evasion. Not only did Ulvaeus manage to beat the charges, but he also got to keep every krona of his royalties. We wonder what outfit he wore to tribunal to make that happen.

E. Reid Ross is the author of “Nature Is The Worst: 500 Reasons You’ll Never Want To Go Outside Again, ” which is in stores now and available on Amazon and Barnes& Noble . For more accidents that led to lasting reputation, check out 7 Celebrity Careers That Launched by Accident and 5 Dumb Accidents That Constructed ‘Star Wars’ A Classic . Subscribe to our YouTube channel, and check out The Last Guy In America To Sport The Hitler ‘Stache, and other videos you won’t ensure on the site ! Follow us on Facebook, and we’ll follow you everywhere .

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