5 Mind-Blowing Loopholes You Had No Idea Existed

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Loopholes are like buttholes — everyone is pretty well aware that they exist, and some people don’t use them often enough( and some people use them a little bit too too ). We’ve told you before about some great instances of people gaming the system in ridiculously circuitous ways. Here are some more schemes that drive a metaphorical ogre truck over the fine print.

# 5. A Starbucks Customer Use Their Free Drink Policy To Get A $50 Coffee

Starbucks has totally moved out of the realm of “hipster gathering space” and become corporate enough that people are comfy fucking with them. Our hero Andrew didn’t know that he wanted to drink enough coffee to kill a pony until he saw this video 😛 TAGEND

In 2013, that YouTube video of a guy ordering a 40 -shot espresso went viral. The total cost of the drink was $47.30, because it also included bananas, strawberry, matcha powder, and pumpkin spice. If you think that sounds absolutely disgusting, you are not alone. Andrew knew there must be a way to get an even more expensive but still tolerable drink.

Of course, like the guy before him, Andrew wouldn’t actually be paying for the giant beverage. Andrew has been part of Starbuck’s loyalty program, which entailed he got a free drink for every 12 he bought. Now, most people would go in and simply order the most expensive thing on the actual menu, but that wasn’t involved. Basically, a “drink” was defined as anything the person or persons behind the counter were willing to serve him. In the end, he was going to get himself more than $50 of free coffee.

“Just to the halfway mark, please. I still want to be able to submerge myself in it.”

Andrew set thought into his objective. While other people trying to beat the record messed up by bring back fishbowls, he brought in a 128 -ounce clear glass vase that was still ostensibly a drinking glass. He also made sure to tell the baristas exactly what his plans were and get them aroused about it. Soon, everyone was doing the math to figure out how to break the $50 barrier.


In the end, they settled on a 60 -shot Frappuccino. It took Andrew five days to finish — which was a good choice, since the resultant diarrhea of an all-at-once session could have killed him. And while Starbucks officially “discourages” people from doing this in the future, they haven’t actually stated that it runs against their rules. Just saying.

# 4. There Are “Bridge Parties” In Austin( Thanks To A Legal Drinking Loophole)

We’re not talking about your Aunt Karen’s bridge party that she hosts after Thursday book club. This is much more insane.

Austin is the one part of Texas the rest of the country tends to be proud of, and it’s also home to a ridiculous municipal loophole. Some folks realized that, while smoking and drinking in public are both very illegal in the city, for some reason, the latter are okay as long as you were over the Colorado River( no , not that one; the other one ), which operates through downtown. Now, you could go to the trouble of renting a hot air balloon or helicopter and only try to hover, or you could take the easy way out and stroll onto the Pfluger Pedestrian Bridge.

Once people figured out this loophole in the law, the bridge became the new awesome place to hang out. Groups of up to 100 people at a time meet to smoke and get drunk on the bridge, and there is nothing the police can do about it.

“Can you at least please stop aiming for kayakers when you retch? ”

Of course, the Parks and Recreation Department, who are in charge of the bridge, weren’t thrilled about this. While it would probably make an awesome episode for Leslie Knope, the reality is much sadder. Partiers often leave a lot of garbage behind, meaning the city has to pay to clean it up. Since the bridge is also used by households, people have expressed concerns that it is wrong to uncover children to such behaviour. So, kids: Don’t drink and smoke on that bridge — largely because by the time you are old enough to do so, they will have closed the loophole and you could get arrested.

# 3. A Mississippi Sex Ed Law Tells Nothing About Socks

Have you ever thought about how important it is to practice safe socks? Sure, putting on socks is like second nature to you now, but when you were young, someone had to help you. And even then, you probably rent them off your feet at the first available opportunity.

“I guess that’s just how she was raised.”

Correct sock use is a lot more complicated a ability than we dedicate it credit for, and you can’t assume that by high school, children have mastered their technique. Fortunately, one hero in Mississippi decided that they couldn’t risk students going barefoot.

Here’s the rundown, based on the teachings of Sanford Johnson, an education advocate in Mississippi. First, make sure to unroll the sock the whole way, and get onto as far up your calf as is practicable. Be sure to pinch the tip, since you wouldn’t want it to be too tight around your toes; the sock could get a pit in it that way. When taking off your shoe, hold the top of the sock so that it doesn’t slide off. And of course, perfectly always put on a sock if you are going to wear shoes. Go even one time without, and you could get athlete’s foot or a blister. Or many blisters.

Somewhere, Quentin Tarantino sheds a lone tear .

Just for the record, this has nothing to do with the fact that teaching about condoms is not allowed under Mississippi’s abstinence-only sex education. If you think this sounds like “sock” is just a convenient euphemism for a prophylactic, taking advantage of a loophole in the law, then Sanford Johnson has no idea what you are talking about. He altogether still thinks that an abstinence-only education is the only way to get away from Mississippi’s national runner-up status in teen pregnancy rates, chlamydia, and gonorrhea.

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