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5 Insane Ways We’ve Disrespected The Dead

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There’s something sacred about the remaining a human being, to the point that even Richard Dawkins probably wants a nice coffin, just in case. Most of the time, people will be as respectful of others’ remains as they would be to their own — or at the very least, they won’t do anything weird like dress up the recently deceased like Green Lantern.

Most of the time.

# 5. Japan Has Corpse Hotels

Like most of the post-WWII world, Japan experienced a population boom that is finally starting to taper off. However, the problem in Japan is that their funeral home industry didn’t grow accordingly. This means that decomposing human bodies could be waiting for up to a couple of weeks for a proper wake.

“Put it over there with the others and take a number.”

Instead of being alarmed at the intimidating rate at which their citizens are croaking, some folks in Japan have assured a business opportunity. Rather than letting loved ones pile up in funeral home inboxes, people can choose to dump their dead loved ones at a local corpse hotel — part of Japan’s burgeoning for-profit short-term morgue industry.

We’re not kidding about the hotel facet of this, either. Normal not-dead couples have mistaken them for actual hotels. One such establishment is the subtly-named Lastel, where for a cool $157 a night, your checked-out relative can check into a perfectly manicured and refrigerated room while they wait for a place in the local crematory to open up( which is the preferred funeral rite in Japan ).

Remember that the little bottles of formaldehyde aren’t free .

If, for whatever reason, you feel like you need to be in the same build as your frozen friend or family member, many of these places also offer separate living-people rooms, where you can stay and view the earthly remains of your favorite uncle whenever you want at the flip of a switch. We’re not certain how restful your bide would be, however, since it is a virtual guarantee that every single one of these hotels is haunted as shit .

# 4. Some Random Mummy Toured the Country As The Body Of John Wilkes Booth

If we were to name historical figures whom everybody wants to impersonate, we’d have to guess that John Wilkes Booth is probably somewhere in the bottom five, alongside Hitler and the guy who fabricated interest rates.

“Step right up for your chance to punch a dead guy! ”

For whatever reason, John St. Helen did not feel the same way. In 1877, St. Helen came forward with a shocking deathbed “confession”: He was in fact John Wilkes Booth, and had been on the run for the past few decades or so. He claimed that Lincoln’s Vice President, Andrew Johnson, orchestrated the assassination and arranged for Booth to escape the manhunt by setting up a patsy to be killed in his place. Then, St. Helen recovered from his bout of near-death and skipped town, which was significantly easier to do 150 years ago.

Fast-forward to 1903, when a human named David E. George committed suicide. Right before he offed himself, George claimed that he was John Wilkes Booth. An lawyer and self-proclaimed Booth expert( because there is no official degree in the fields of John Wilkes Boothing) named Finis Langdon Bates positively identified the body of David E. George as John St. Helen, because in the early 1900 s we believed anything anyone representing themselves in an official capability said. In a further demonstration that he was a man to be trusted, Bates mummified George’s body and took it on a tour around the country as the body of everyone’s favorite presidential assassin.

“For an extra dollar, you can open his secret back flap! ”

Bates garmented George’s body in a pair of khaki shorts and hauled him around the country, writing a book about his absurd “John Wilkes Booth faked his death for decades” conspiracy. A surprising number of people bought into it. The body was passed from proprietor to proprietor, and the legends only grew when Booth’s nephew, despite having been born in 1868( meaning he’d have never seen his uncle alive ), had reaffirmed that George’s beef jerky body looked like his old Uncle John. The mummy was last seen in the 1970 s, and it is our responsibility to presume it has expended the past four decades plotting its terrible revenge.

# 3. Two Guys Took Their Dead Friend Out For Drinks

In September of 2011, Robert Young showed up at his friend Jeff Jarrett’s house, merely to find that Jeff had overdosed on a cocktail of drugs and alcohol. Ordinarily, the death of one of your entourage would put a damper on the night, but Young had already doused himself in Ed Hardy cologne for the evening, and was not about to let that go to waste. So he decided to consult his other friend, Mark Rubinson( who was not dead ), as to their next step. Rubinson decided that the ultimate way to honor Jeff’s memory was to take his body out for a night on the town. More specifically, to take his body and credit card out for a night on the town.

For reasons that escape us, the pair loaded Jarrett into the back of Rubinson’s car and drove around to bars, restaurants, and strip clubs, spending thousands of his dollars in the process. Maybe the pair genuinely believed that Jarrett would have wanted it that way and wanted to include their buddy for one last hurrah, but whatever the reason, they at least had the modesty to not bring Jarrett’s body into any establishments. This is a gentler style of saying that they left their dead friend in the car while they went inside to party.

“No shirt , no shoes , no heartbeat , no service.”

Once the duo had expended enough of Jarrett’s money to honor the final want they presumed he would have made, they took his body back to his house, tucked him into bed, and went to get a burrito before ultimately flagging down a cop to report Jarrett’s death. The two men were quickly arrested and eventually convicted for abusing a corpse, but they take umbrage over their escapades being compared to Weekend At Bernie’s , despite that being the most positive style to describe what they did. In their own words: “It’s not a joking matter. He deserves better than that.” To recap, this statement came from a pair of dudes who stole “the mens” in question’s credit card and drove around with his dead body in the backseat of their car.

There’s something sacred about the remaining a human being, to the point that even Richard Dawkins probably wants a nice casket, just in case. Most of the time, people will be as respectful of others’ remains as they would be to their own — or at the very least, they won’t do anything weird like dress up the recently deceased like Green Lantern.

# 5. Japan Has Corpse Hotels

Like most of the post-WWII world, Japan experienced a population boom that is finally starting to taper off. However, their own problems in Japan is that their funeral home industry didn’t grow accordingly. This means that decomposing human bodies could be waiting for up to a couple of weeks for a proper wake.

“Put it over there with the others and take a number.”

Instead of being alarmed at the intimidating rate at which their citizens are croaking, some folks in Japan have assured a business possibility. Rather than letting loved ones pile up in funeral home inboxes, people can choose to dump their dead loved ones at a local corpse hotel — part of Japan’s burgeoning for-profit short-term mortuary industry.

We’re not kidding about the hotel facet of this, either. Normal not-dead couples have mistaken them for actual hotels. One such establishment is the subtly-named Lastel, where for a cool $157 a night, your checked-out relative can check into a perfectly manicured and refrigerated room while they wait for a place in the local crematory to open up( which is the preferred funeral rite in Japan ).

Remember that the little bottles of formaldehyde aren’t free .

If, for whatever reason, you feel like you need to be in the same build as your frozen friend or family member, many of these places also offer separate living-people rooms, where you can stay and view the earthly remains of your favorite uncle whenever you want at the flip of a switching. We’re not certain how restful your stay would be, however, since it is a virtual guarantee that every single one of these hotels is haunted as shit .

# 4. Some Random Mummy Toured the Country As The Body Of John Wilkes Booth

If we were to name historical figures whom everybody wants to impersonate, we’d have to guess that John Wilkes Booth is likely somewhere in the bottom five, alongside Hitler and the guy who fabricated interest rates.

“Step right up for your chance to punch a dead guy! ”

For whatever reason, John St. Helen did not feel the same way. In 1877, St. Helen came forward with a shocking deathbed “confession”: He was in fact John Wilkes Booth, and had been on the run for the past decade or so. He claimed that Lincoln’s Vice President, Andrew Johnson, orchestrated the assassination and arranged for Booth to sidestep the manhunt by setting up a patsy to be killed in his place. Then, St. Helen recovered from his bout of near-death and skipped town, which was significantly easier to do 150 years ago.

Fast-forward to 1903, when a man named David E. George committed suicide. Right before he offed himself, George claimed that he was John Wilkes Booth. An attorney and self-proclaimed Booth expert( because there is no official degree in the field of John Wilkes Boothing) named Finis Langdon Bates positively identified the body of David E. George as John St. Helen, because in the early 1900 s we believed anything anyone representing themselves in an official capacity said. In a further demonstration that he was a man to be trusted, Bates mummified George’s body and took it on a tour around the country as the body of everyone’s favorite presidential assassin.

“For an extra dollar, you are able to open his secret back flap! ”

Bates garmented George’s body in a pair of khaki shorts and carried him around the country, writing a book about his absurd “John Wilkes Booth faked his death for decades” conspiracy. A surprising number of people bought into it. The body was passed from owner to owner, and the legends only grew when Booth’s nephew, despite having been born in 1868( entailing he’d have never seen his uncle alive ), confirmed that George’s beef jerky body looked like his old Uncle John. The mummy was last seen in the 1970 s, and it is our responsibility to presume it has expended the past four decades plotting its terrible revenge.

# 3. Two Guys Took Their Dead Friend Out For Drinks

In September of 2011, Robert Young showed up at his friend Jeff Jarrett’s home, only to find that Jeff had overdosed on a cocktail of drugs and alcohol. Commonly, the death of one of your entourage would put a damper on the night, but Young had already doused himself in Ed Hardy cologne for the evening, and was not about to let that go to waste. So he decided to consult his other friend, Mark Rubinson( who was not dead ), as to their next step. Rubinson decided that the ultimate way to honor Jeff’s memory was to take his body out for a night on the town. More specifically, to take his body and credit card out for a night on the town.

For reasons that escape us, the pair loaded Jarrett into the back of Rubinson’s car and drove around to bars, eateries, and strip clubs, spending thousands of his dollars in the process. Maybe the pair genuinely believed that Jarrett would have wanted it that way and wanted to include their buddy for one last hurrah, but whatever the reason, they at least had the modesty to not bring Jarrett’s body into any establishments. This is a gentler route of saying that they left their dead friend in the car while they went inside to party.

“No shirt , no shoes , no heartbeat , no service.”

Once the duo had spent enough of Jarrett’s money to honor the final hope they presumed he would have induced, they took his body back to his house, tucked him into bed, and went to get a burrito before eventually flagging down a policeman to report Jarrett’s death. The two men were quickly arrested and eventually convicted for abusing a corpse, but they take umbrage over their escapades being is comparable to Weekend At Bernie’s , despite that being the most positive style to describe what they did. In their own terms: “It’s not a joking matter. He deserves better than that.” To recap, this statement received from a pair of dudes who stole the man in question’s credit card and drove around with his dead body in the backseat of their car.

Read more: www.cracked.com

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