5 Accessories You Should Literally Never Buy

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Its no secret that most betches arent like amazing at budgeting their money. But like, who can really blame you? You suck at cook, but pretend to be vaguely health conscious, so a lot of your money goes towards kind of expensive salads.( How much are salads even supposed to be? I genuinely have no idea, but every time I buy a salad, Im like Wait, that felt various kinds of overpriced .) Betches are a really interesting demographic financially, because like, youll swipe your card for a $200 pair of jeans that build your butt look dope without blinking, but your Google search history includes things like Will cheap alcohol attain me drunk faster? and Does generic Plan B run? What, you Googled that for your roommate? Right.

Anyway, Im obviously not a financial expert or anything, but Im a self-proclaimed shopping expert, so I feel like its my duty to help you out here. Actually, I dont suppose I should even go as far as to say that Im a self-proclaimed expert. I believe I just like hearing myself talk. But yeah, theres tons of shit you just straight up shouldnt be buying and Im here to save you from that. Here are five things you should literally never buy.

1. Fake Gucci Loafers

Steve Madden merely released about a million pairs of shoes that are straight rip-offs of the Gucci Princetown Loafer Mule. At $80, these loafers are pretty much just a glorified knockoff, but theyre produced by a brand youre familiar with so you dont have to go into some creepy stockroom on Canal Street to get them.

Im not telling you to splurge on the $800 Gucci shoes and Im definitely not bashing fast style. Stores like Zara and H& M are awesome for picking up inexpensive garment that provokes a similar-looking vibe to high-end designs. However, the line between being inspired by luxury style and blatantly ripping it off is so penalty, my Kat Von D liquid eyeliner couldnt depict it. These shoes are candidly such a swindle, buying them is basically one step away from wiring money to the guy from Nigeria emailing you to send him money because his funds are tied up in Europe. There are so many other styles of inexpensive , non-tacky shoes in the world to choose from. You have literally no reason to purchase these, ever.

2. Designer Headphones

I have a lot of unpopular opinions considering Lilly Pulitzer that Ill either maintain to myself or save for a later date( quick preview: I think wearing boxy tunics covered in a neon seashell print is the dumbest shit you can do ), but in regards to this list, do not buy Lilly Pulitzer, or any other designer ear buds. Theyre pretty much the crappy ear buds that came with your iPod touch a million years ago, but with a design that might build them easier to describe when you undeniably leave them at the gym in two weeks and ask the guy at the front desk if hes seen them.

Beats by Dr. Dre has $100 in-ear headphones that you should probably just spring for. Sure, theyre $80 more and dont have a floral design( which seems like a plus to me, but no judgement ), but by the time youve gone through a few pairs of shitty headphones, youll have wished you only bought these instead.

3. Expensive, Trendy Sunglasses

You know how they say you should try to keep a plant alive before you get a dog? And that you should learn to take care of a pet before you have children? Well, I say bolt all of that and buy yourself a pair of expensive sunglasses if you want to know how responsible you really are. Plot spoiler: Youre irresponsible AF and might as well just spent that $200 on Candy Crush lives because itll last way longer.

You should definitely buy designer sunglasses if you like, HAVE to have a particular design or know that youll be able to hold onto them for a while. For instance, Ray Ban Wayfarers are a good notion, because theyre a classic style and you can spot a knock-off from a couple miles out. However, if youre just looking for a pair of glasses that look like something you considered on Kylie Jenners Snapchat, its not really worth it to expend a lot. Theres actually no phase in getting Illesteva glasses when you can get a pair that seems precisely like them literally anywhere else for less, because theyre probably just a fad that youll keep forgetting when you watch Kylies story tomorrow and shes wearing yet another pair.( And if it sounds like Im contradicting myself on what I said about the faux Guccis, give it another read. The point is to find something similar , not a total knockoff .)

4. Tacky Phone Cases

I get it. Youve been in line at Forever 21 for 15 long minutes and are trying to decide if the$ 6 choker youre about to get is even worth it. The bins by the counter, which are actually merely strategically placed black holes, are starting to look appealing. You take a look through and find a glisten phone case, and its less than $10 so you decide to get it.

Unless you want their own lives to be ruined, you should absolutely put that tacky phone case down. Theres a 0% chance itll save your telephone during your next bender. All of the junky phone cases in the world arent worth a scratching on the most valuable 4.7 inches of property you own( aka, your telephone screen ). The only thing more brutal than having a shattered phone screen is having to pay to get it fixed, so simply be a decent human being and buy a legitimate phone case, like perhaps one from Shop Betches.

5. Cheap Watches

In case you haven’t noticed , nobody really needs watches anymore because we’re simply always on our telephones, which also tell the time if you didn’t realize. Also, manually changing the time on something when Daylight Saving Time happens is such a buzzkill. Yes I know that doesn’t happen very frequently, but of the watches I own , none of them have ever been changed with Daylight Saving Time. It’s just like, too much work for my busy lifestyle.

Anyway, don’t spend money on dumb inexpensive watches. They’ll likely turn your wrist green, or transgress or something. Who needs a crappy watch to tell them what time it is when you have your Uber driver constantly calling you to tell you he’s been waiting outside for five minutes and is about to dip out?

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