The Presidential Candidates’ Most Egregious Crimes Against Fashion

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Fashion is a lot like politics: some alternatives inspire, and others attain you want crawl underground and live in a bunker, Kimmy Schmitt-style. Its no secret that this election is a shitshow. Today is Super Tuesday 2… if youre wondering wtf that is, there are some major primaries going on in Ohio and Florida today for both parties. Chillary Clinton is beating Bernie 54 to 41 percent in the polls rn while Trump is basically kicking everyones asses( and subsequently Americas future) to the curb. This entails do or die for Republican nominees like Marco Rubio and John Kasich that are struggling to keep up. Speaking of fighting, lets get back to what this article is actually about: talking shit about everyones manner choices.

Hillary Clinton

We all know our girl Hil is like, sooooo laid back and wholly down with millennial shit: The Twitter, loving pizza, and Shonda Rhimes television programs. Regrettably, her style suggests otherwise. The monotone vibes are a little too North Korean Dictator for us, and we wouldnt be surprised if her and the Supreme Dictator launched a clothing line together if the whole President thing falls through (# KimJongChill ). Heres some of her most … interesting seems throughout the election.

Although her appears arent precisely Betches-approved, we like get what shes going for. Hill means Bid-ness. Shes trying to be the first female chairwoman , not a sex object that uses her body to acquire votes. Her attires convey professionalism and demand respect. We merely wish the latter are a little cuter, and like, updated since the 1990 s. Sorry Hillary, but orange will never actually be the new black.

Bernie Sanders

Bernie Sanders was born in the year NINETEEN-FORTY-FUCKING-ONE, so assumably he’d be a man of classic style. Regrettably, thats not the case. He exudes coolness every time he walks on stage with his straight-talking, go-getter position. However, his tired navy suits and nerdy glass could use a little pick-me-up. His suits need to be taken in, his flyaway hair gelled back, and he needs a new pair of specs STAT.If Bernie takes office the working day, this human of the people urgently needs to become a man with a stylist.

Marco Rubio

Rubios infamous high-heeled boots stimulated headlines lately, and the whole world was like, WHATRE THOSE ?!?!?!?!?. Given the fragile ego of most Republican males, it caused a seriously immature social media backlash from his political opponents. Ted Cruzs campaign director, Rick Tyler, even tweeted a link to s style blog so that he could pick out a new pair of shoes. Carly Fiorina tweeted a photo of her own boots to highlight the similarities. Real matured, guys. Protip, Rubio: make a Pinterest. There are hella infographics out there to help you match an appropriate shoe to your outfit.

Ted Cruz

Real talk, Ted Cruz’s worst accessory is his smile. WTF is that shit? He looks like a fucking serial killer who suffered a stroke. No thanks. Maybs lay off the botox. Or whatever it is that induces his mouth do that.

Donald Trump

Trumps look reminds me of an aged, douchey frat bromatches his attitude, I guess. In fact, I know a few sixth-year seniors that already dress like him. The same black suit with a colorful affiliation, every, single day. TBH there’s a lot to detest everything about Trump, from his hair to his bad spray tan to his racist agenda. We have a few outfit suggestions for Mr. Trump, but what wed really like to see him in is a straight-jackettrs swank for fall!

John Kasich

Honestly, John Kasich has bigger problems than his fashion( like get people to know he exists ), so since he’s the only GOP candidate who seems remotely sane we’ll let this slidefor now.

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