The courage it takes for a woman to say yes[ to a date with a human] is beyond anything I can imagine. A girl telling yes to a date with a man is literally insane, and ailment advised. How do women still go out with guys, when you consider the fact that there is no greater threat to females than humen? Were the number-one threat! To women! Globally and historically, were the number-one cause of injury and mayhem to girls. Were the worst thing that ever happens to them!
And yet, here we are. Females have evolved this ambivalent arousal/ dread, love/ detest response to male size, strength, and power. If you want to be successful in modern mating, the more you understand this, the better you can deliver what women love while eradicating what they fear.
A woman can tell how well your life is going from how you appear, in about two seconds. Your face and body are leaking all kinds of cues about your sexual experience, self-confidence, and personalityand she can see it all in one glance. Before you approach her, shes already decided whether she wants you to talk to her, and shes already judged your mate value and your status before you toss the first lame, derpy pickup line at her. She can reek your over-practiced pick-up artists tricks from a couple miles out. Its like her superpower.
By the time youve gratified her, a normal American girl has expended years honing that superpower. She had to develop it after putting up with so much shit from lame guys making on her, catcalling, sexually harassing, and potentially even stalking her. Since puberty, when she started developing hips and breasts and pretty facial features, shes had to deal with creepers and sketchballs to some degree or the other, and shes probably pretty sick of it.
Its hard for guys to appreciate what it would be like to grow up being stared at and sexually harassed every day of their own lives from age twelve onward. So instead, what you need to realize is that all this sex attention a woman gets sows in her a anxiety of raw physical violencereactive assaultthat could be sparked if she ignores your come-ons, rejects you in a way you find demeaning, or dates you for six months before finding out youre a paranoid, jealous control freak.
Thats the female reality of living in sexual anxiety. Shes afraid of creeps, weirdo, crazies, losers, and stalkers. And believe us when we say that, from her perspective, they make up a high proportion of menespecially the ones likely to hit on her in inappropriate ways, places, and periods. Psychological and environmental factors explain much of this perspective.
The psychological research, for example, shows that, from a womans point of view, most guys she satisfies will be less kind, less agreeable, less empathic, less conscientious, less reliable, less cleanless everything reallythan she and her friends are. Even if she accepts those sex changes, she still has to wrangling given the fact that many mental illnesses and personality disorders are more common among humen( the more dangerous ones no less ). These male-dominated ailments include alcoholism, drug addiction, autism, schizophrenia, narcissism, white-collar sociopathy, and criminal psychopathy. All of which induce each random encounter with a human less likely to end in love and more likely to end with a fight-or-flight response.
Most guys reading this right now are likely sitting there thinking, WTF, Ive never done any of that creepy shit. Dont lump me in with those assholes. And we agree. Most of you guys are solid dudes. Youre merely suffering for the actions of the highly nonrandom sample of guys who hit on every woman in sight. Thats why its so important to understand the world from a womans perspective.
Think about women experiences with guys like a city policemen experience with people in general. Cops expend 90 percent of their hour dealing with the scummiest 5 percent of humanity. The ones whove been around a while often develop a cynical, negative, and fatalist view of humans, based on the totality of their bitter experiences. Its not that humans are all bad. Its that cops find only the worst.
Likewise, females expend a big proportion of their time in the mating marketplace avoiding the smaller percentage of guys who are the most intrusive, obnoxious, or insane. Psychopaths are sexually predatory, uninhibited, and confident, so although theyre only 4 percent of the American male population, they might account for 40 percent of the men who have hit on any given woman. Guys with Aspergers are another factor; although theyre often introverted( and so least likely to approach a woman ), if they do approach, theyre bad at reading nonverbal cues of disinterest or rejection, so theyre more likely to persist beyond a womans comfort zone. There are almost too many other types of men who do things girls find repulsive to name them all.
Simply set, her experience is that the worst guys go straight-out at her while the best guys are nowhere to be seen.